How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
