some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
