Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
