hell yes lets make some ravioli
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
