Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
