How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
