there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
