What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
