Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
