I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lo siento on account of my penis...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
