was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
