dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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