The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
