So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i've created a new STD.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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