Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
