It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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