I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
where are you?
Hypothermia
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
