its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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