I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
