We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
