She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
