a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
