i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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