Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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