i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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