i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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