i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
