So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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