Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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