the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His nipple licking is glorious
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