Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
