I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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