Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
