HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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