I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
