strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
