you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
