Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
