Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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