remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I cut my penus on the lid.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Vodka?
Forever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
