this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
