talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
