Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
