This girl is more easily done than said...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
