Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
