how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
