well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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