He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
