Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
