Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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